Posted by: Bevs | February 21, 2007

A simple guideline:

1. Do Not Expect Others to Bring You Happiness.
All by yourself, you are a complete and perfect creation. All the answers you need are within you. Do your spirit work. Nurture, cherish, honor, and feed your spirit. Another person cannot fill a hole in your soul that exists if you do not love yourself. Reach out to help others. Extend love to them. Give, and you will receive. (JE)

2. Make Friends and Be a Friend.
Don’t sulk because your friends don’t call. Everyone is busy. Call them; they will really appreciate it. Make different kinds of friends. And they don’t have to be friends with each other. Join a book club, PTA, church group, sport, volunteer group. Just get out there and meet people. (JE)

3. Extend Yourself (Go Out of Your Way for Others).
Call someone who is lonely or sad. Take a friend to lunch. Bring flowers to someone. Open the door when a person needs help. Let someone go in front of you in the market when they are in a hurry. Stop for pedestrians. Be patient and considerate. Don’t take it personally when another person is a grump . . . maybe they just got bad news or they are sick. Be the good guy. You’ll love yourself.

4. Be Friendly and Kind to Teenagers.
Teenagers are unfairly treated by the media. Most of them are just little kids in really loud, big bodies. Because their bodies are growing and changing so fast, they often feel depressed, confused and out of control. Teens need more love and reassurance than any other age group, yet as a society, we treat them like they have some contagious disease. They don’t want to be teenagers . . . that’s just life. So why not show them some support? Give them the benefit of the doubt. Be pleasant to them. Say hello, and give them a smile or kind word. Most of these kids are really wonderful even with a nose ring. One more thing; when your little, darling six-year-old son or granddaughter is sixteen, would you like them to be treated inconsiderately? (JE)

5. Do Not Gossip.
We all do stupid things. Your importance is not increased when you belittle another. Gossiping is petty, hurtful and low. Try doing something nice for someone else instead. You’ll feel better about yourself.

6. Do Not Carry a Grudge.
Generally speaking, most of the bad things people do to one another are just a little thoughtless or careless. Some people are on automatic pilot and do not even realize that they have hurt another. Most of the time, it is probably not intentional. Do not take it to heart. Be the bigger person; sometimes you can actually end up becoming friends. Realize that you have done dumb things before, too. In any case, it is destructive to your own peace of mind to carry negative thoughts around in your heart. They will eat away at you, and eventually, you will pay a dear price. (JE)

7. Look Out for Toxic People.
You know the type. They complain, are negative in their outlook, are unkind, depressed, mean, and self-centered. They will suck the joy right out of you, and you can’t fix them. They are the only ones who can resolve their issues. Protect your own well-being by avoiding their destructive and negative energy. Don’t be a victim.

8. You Cannot Solve Other People’s Problems.
People will come to you with their tales of woe. You can offer them kindness or be a sounding board for them, but they are really the only ones who can solve things for themselves. You cannot travel their journey for them; we must each walk our own path. (JE)

9. Do Not Let Another Person Crush Your Spirit.
Some people are hostile, negative or angry all the time. If you live or work with someone like this, it can destroy your spirit. You begin to feel hopeless and defeated. You deserve better. Do not let these people trick you into thinking that you are the cause of their difficulties. Negative people need to take ownership of their own emotional baggage, problems, and issues. You have a right to be happy. You deserve it. You will reflect God’s grace when you are happy. You will spread joy and radiate love. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.

10. Keep Your Own Free Will.
We all have responsibilities and obligations. We can’t always do exactly what we want or get our own way. Some of this is good because we are growing and learning how to cope. But if you feel your own needs are never being met, or you are feeling devalued, or if you have to give in to another’s wishes more than to your own, then that relationship is probably destructive to you. You do not deserve to be mistreated by anyone.

11. Look Beyond a Person’s Actions and Try to See Their Goodness
Some people are hurting and sad, and they act like jerks. Most people don’t want to act jerky; in fact, they probably hate it and themselves. If you can see that spark of goodness in them, then you will be free of being hurt by them. Can you reach out to them with kindness and see how far it gets you? Maybe there is a wonderful person inside of them struggling to get out, and you just might help open that door. (Note: If a person is abusive to you, that is not okay. Leave that situation immediately.)

12. Don’t Let Anger Take Over in an Argument.
You’ll regret what you say; and you will resolve nothing. Everyone will shut down. So keep a cool head. If necessary, detach yourself. Don’t take anything personally, and try to reach a resolution or compromise. “When anger enters, reason flies out the window.” (JE)

13. Women: Don’t Expect Men to Think Like You.
They can’t. Don’t take it personally.

14. Tips for Men about Women.
Women love to talk and analyze. Force yourself to talk to the woman in your life. Make conversation. Try not to shut down or leave when you feel uncomfortable or upset. Talk about it; don’t be so afraid of your feminine side. Having a macho attitude does not work as well as being better balanced. Hint: Women love to receive flowers. (They don’t have to be roses. Most women like all flowers.)

15. Have People Over.
We’re all so busy that we don’t entertain much anymore, but we need to maintain our friendships. We all need a support system and friends provide this. So have a potluck once in awhile. Everyone else will thank you for the effort, but they actually will be bringing all the food! It’s not that hard.

 

Source: How to Love your Life

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